I'm in this situation right now, we've been together for one year and eight months already and for me this number is hard to beat. The last long term relationship that I have is one year and I know, that for him, I was the only long term girlfriend he have had. On the first few months of our relationship, it was the goody-goody way. We were happy, we always see each other, we always texting each other, I was always first on her list of priorities. We even had plans for our future. But as we go along, problems started coming in. Petty fights that lead to BIG fights were an everyday cooking for us. Respect started to fade away as well as our trusts with each other, in short, gone are the days of us being a HAPPY COUPLE.

I didn't tell anyone about this especially my friends that things were hard between us lately. They keep on guessing everytime that we had a fight or whatever but I just told them that we are still very much on and very much a happy couple but I know deep inside I am not sure if we are TRULY a happy one. I don't want them to think that I've made a mistake once again in love. I don't want them to have a good laugh about me on not following their advice. I don't want them to say to me "See? I told you so". I just don't want to face the thought that maybe I've made a mistake on choosing him over them.

I'm sick and tired understanding our relationship. One minute were okay and things were good between us and the next minute were on to our fights again. Just like what happened today, yesterday we had a fight and then we patch things up for us to be okay but then a while ago he's into his old ways again and it just infuriates me. There are so many times already that we've cooled off but then again binabalikan ko siya. There were so many times that I had thought to myself that I am so tired of his childish ways and I want to break free from him but just the mere thought of him not mine in the future scares the hell out of me. You can call me a martyr but God knows how afraid I am of losing him. I wanted to ask for a cool-off just so that I can have time to think things and just have time for myself but he doesn't believe in those things. For him if "break na, eh di break na talaga" but I don't want it that way because I do love him so much.

What should I do? I'm tired of the same old fights...I'm tired of his childish ways...I'm tired of hearing all his "sorry's"...I'm tired of being the one who always forgives him...I'm tired of being always left out..Im just tired of this whole situation--not with him.

I want us to be together always. I want him to be THE ONE for me. I want him to be my future---the father of my children but I'm not sure if he feels the same way. I only want simple things from him but why can't he do it for me?

As much as I wanted to free myself from all the pains that this relationship brought me, I can't do it..I just love him so much and I'm still looking forward to the fact that someday he would change for me. I hope he would realized that I am just any other human being. I loved but most of all I Want to be Loved in return. I just want him to appreciate me. I know this would be difficult to do but I would still try to work things out between us even if I die trying. I love him so much that I can't imagine a life without him.

The title speaks for itself, this post is about my experiences in my first week of class this semester A.Y 2007-2008. I am now in my senior year in College (Lapit na d ba?) and trust me I am really looking forward to leave college life for good and enter the realm of the real world nacks

Anyways, I have only 3 subjects which is eqivalent to 9 units this semester and these three subjects are held at night! MAN! I am so happy! why? because this means that I can catch a good amount of sleep, would not wake up early, less pressure and I can concentrate on my studies as well as having some of my social life which I don't have last semester! Ahh! what a joy to be a Senior!

With my schedule being so uhm..loose? I'm planning to join some college orgs for me to be able to have some extra curricular activities to keep me busy for a while---but as of now I don't have any idea what orgs to join. As a matter of fact, joining orgs is not really my cup of tea. They don't really interests me. But my friends keep on bugging me to join some. Oh well! so be it..I'm still looking for "The Best" org that matches my personality---that is if there's any!.

Now going back to business, hmmm let's see...first week of class? it was ok. I've met all of my professors already and as of now, I really like them a lot well except for one! ( I won't say her name for the fear of knowing that she might fail me if she would be able to read this). Anyways, most of my prof just asks about the usual expectations for the subject and for them as well. Know what? I'm getting tired of that stuff already. From my freshman year up until now, this is what we do every first day of class! It's redundant already Sniff!. And oh by the way, I was wearing my school uniform already and my oh my I realized that I'm putting up weight---my school uniform doesn't fit me anymore with all my "bil-bils" fighting to come out on my pants!. I'm thinking to buy another set of school uniform sometime next month.

That's it! that summarizes all that had happen to me on the first week of class--boring eh?

Wohoo! It's Father's Day today as well as me and my BBY's one year and eight months' monthsary. I Love you so much bby! I'm glad we made it this far even though we always have our own differences and we quarelled most of the times. It just shows that we LOVE each other so much.

Anyways, since it's Father's Day today, I would like to greet all the fathers in the world today a Happy Father's Day! To my Tatay,, thanks for all that you have done, your sacrifices, and for taking care of Me, Nanay and Glaiza. Our family may have gone through hard times - very hard indeed but without you there for us, we couldn't have surpassed it all. I may not say or show it too often but I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. Eventhough we have our own differences, I still am thankful that you're my father and I am still your babygirl.

Speaking of Father's Day Celebration as well as our monthsary, my bby and I agreed to meet at SM City (Cebu). He wants me to accompany him shopping for school stuffs. This may seem ordinary but guess what who was with him? his family nonetheless!. He was with his Father and his Sister having some sort of Family bonding and I was the only "outsider" there. You can guess what I felt! HAHA. I was so nervous all the time! I can't even look at his father...whenever he would glance at me I would only smile back at him he even sat in front of me during dinner at KFC and I didn't echange some words to him! I was so DAMN SHY! =).It's funny in a way, because that was not the first time that we meet an we even texted each other sometimes but still my nerves would rumble everytime we meet. I wish I can overcome my shyness someday.

By the way, Tomorrow will be the official start of classes in my School (University of San Carlos). I'm so damn excited about it because I am now in fourth year in College! Weepee! Malapit na talaga akong maka graduate!

Ang araw na ito ang ika isang daan at siyam na anibersaryo ng ating kalayaan. At dahil espesyal ang araw na ito para sa ating mga pilipino, pipilitin kong magsulat sa sarili nating wika kahit pa ako ay isang Bisaya at mas bihasa pa sa pag gamit ng wikang Ingles kaysa sa wikang Filipino.

Gaya nga nang sabi ko, anibersaryo ng ating kalayaan ngayon. Kung ating matatandaan, simula pa noong bata tayo ay tinuro na sa atin nang ating mga magulang at mga guro sa elementarya kung ano ang Araw ng Kalayaan, Bakit ito importante para sa ating mga pinoy at kung bakit natin ito ipinagdiriwang taon-taon. Para sa mga taong hindi alam ang sagot sa mga katanungan ito, pasensya na kayo at hindi ko maipapaliwanag o masasagot kayo dahil ako ay isang estudyante lamang at hindi guro ng Kasaysayan. Kung baga, kung ano ang alam ko ay itatago ko nalang sa aking puso. *taray! HAHA

Dahil nga araw ng kalayaan ngayon, marami sa ating mga ahensyang gobyerno ang ipinagdiwang ang araw na ito dahilan para ako ay mairita bakit? kasi naman grabeh ang traffic kanina dito Cebu. May mga parada kasi sa daan at meron ring nagwewelga. Talagang inis na inis na talaga ako. Tumatagaktak na ang aking mga pawis sa loob nang jip at nangangamoy usok na ako, sira narin pati porma ko. Grabeh talaga!

Pero pansin ko lang, hindi ko yata naramdaman ang halaga nang araw na ito sa ating mga kababayan. Wala akong nakikitang nakasabit na watawat sa mga kabahayan o sa mga opisina. May parada nga pero pgkatapos nun? alam ba nang lahat kung bakit may parada? o gusto lang nilang makakita ng mga tumutugtog na banda sa daan? Sa jeep nga tinanong ako ng katabi kong ale kung bakit may nagpaparada at nang sinagot ko siya na "araw po ng kalayaan ngayon" ang naging tugon lang niya ay "ah ok, mahalaga pa ba yan? puwermisyo lang ang dulot nyan". Napapaisip tuloy ako na maaring tama nga si Ale. Isa lang siguro siya sa mga libo-libong pilipino na hindi binibigyang importansya ang araw na ito. Hindi naman natin sila masisisi dahil sa mga pinagdadaanang gulo ng ating bayan ngayon. Malaya nga tayo sa mga mananakop na mga dayuhan pero naging malaya ba tayo sa isang dictador? Kung ang mga ninuno natin ay ipinaglaban hanggang sa kamatayan ang kalayaang inaasam-asam nila laban sa mga mapang aliping dayuhan, bakit karamihan sa ating mga kababayan ay pumupunta sa mga dayuhang bansa para mag trabaho doon. Bakit nagpapaalipin pa rin tayo sa mga dayuhan kung talagang malaya na nga tayo? Bakit gusto natin ang mga gamit na nila kung ang mga ninuno natin itinakwil sila sa ating bayan isang daan at siyam na taon na ang nakaraan? Talaga nga bang malaya na tayo? Dapat pa bang ipagdiwang natin ang ating Kalayaan taon-taon?

Napakahirap talagang maging isang tunay na pinoy pero alam nyo? bilib ako sa lahi natin bakit? napagdaanan na kasi natin lahat ng problema sa mundo pero ito pa rin tayo..tinatawanan lang natin ang mga problemang ito. Saan ka makakita ng ganyan sa buong mundo?

Akalo ko maikli lang ang maisusulat ko ngayon kasi hirap akong magtagalog pero heto..naka-ilang salita na ako, parang pang talumpati diba?HEHE. Pasensiya na lang po sa mga marunong mag tagalog na bumabasa sa sulat kong ito. Mali-mali po ang tagalog ko..pwede nyo po itong pintasan pero nais ko lang malaman nyo na ngpakahirap po ako para dito..HAHA

MABUHAY ANG PILIPINAS!

"Hahaist Gayla..summer is definitely over..huhu"

...that is my friend's sentiments when we had a talk on the phone last night. She continued by bursting out about the fun things that she would miss once classes would formally start. My eyes just roll listening to her sentiments. Yah ryt, summer is really over but I'm not sad about it and I'm not gonna go into drama because of it!

Come on! My summer experience this year starts with waking up early to go to school and going home early to rest for weekdays and on weekends I'm a homebody. I don't wanna go out because I'm tired or I don't feel like it or a couple of reasons along the way. I have a couple of invitations from my friends for us to spend a weekend or so at a particular place or to go to the beach but i refused all of them. I don't know why I refused it. My life was pretty boring right? We went to Bohol last April but I'm with my cousins and aunts and trust me it was not that really my idea of fun but in a way I enjoyed my stay there. That was it! for two months I only have one out-of-town event the rest was pretty lame and boring.

Thus, I'm not sad that summer is over because I didn't have a lot of FUN. I was in fact, glad that it would end because that would mean it's back to school time! yipee!

For two days, i'm all alone in the apartment that we rented. DAMN I never thought this could be so hard. There was no groceries sans food to cook thus hinder me to buy food outside...barbecue, which is by the way a very carcinogeric food. What can I do?

Being alone, makes me think about certain things in my life. It makes me miss some company specially my family. DAMN i've been away from them for quite some time already but it's only now that I realized that I do miss them. I miss my Nanay's simple way of looking at life, my Tatay's strict persona, my sister's laughters and jokes. We've been through tough times but we sticked together come hell or high water. We're a family you know and no matter how hard the problem is, at the end it's only your family that you can run to for help.

I may not say it too often to them but I want my family to know that I LOVE THEM so much.